I came to Northern Ireland at the age of 21, three weeks after I married a man that my parents had thought was suitable and whom I had met only a few times. My husband had been brought to Northern Ireland by his aunt when he was just 4. His parents moved here 6 years later. He hardly knew them and had difficulty adjusting to the new family. He felt like a tennis ball going from one to the other and this affected him deeply.

Although my husband’s uncle was educated, jobs for immigrants in those times were scarce and he had to become a door-to-door salesman. His aunt raised chickens and started selling eggs to make ends meet and they lived frugally without electricity or running water. And there were no phones during that time, which made it difficult to contact families back home in India. People used to communicate through letters. When my husband came to Northern Ireland, a grocer from a market town used to deliver the groceries. It was tough to exist in the 1950s, though it must have been even more difficult for the first Indian families who came to Donegal and to Co Londonderry in the 1920s.

During the 1950s, Indian groceries were not available. Families in India used to send the basic things over, such as spices and pulses. It was extremely difficult to find Indian fruits and vegetables. Given the lack of basic ingredients for authentic Indian food, ladies came up with alternatives. So, instead of making mango chutney, they started cooking apples for chutneys. In the 1970s, people started travelling to London to get their groceries from Artillery Passage near Liverpool Street Station.

In 1968, the Civil Rights marches were taking place, followed by the Troubles. Travelling became very difficult and risky. Nonetheless, life went on.

I arrived in the late 1970s. By that time, Indian things had started to become more available, which made it easier for me to assimilate. Gradually, telephones became available as well. However, the connection was not good enough. I had to book calls from India, which were extremely costly. My mum and dad used to ring me once a month, due to the expensive nature of the calls. I missed my family a lot. As a young bride, I arrived in this country with a lot of dreams about the future only to have them shattered within a month because of the difficult environment within the family circle. I felt my in-laws were quite impatient with me. I started to feel that I was not what they had hoped for! I felt isolated and suffered from stress and anxiety in the early years of my marriage when communication with my own family in India was not as easy as it is now. However, I always had the wholehearted support of my husband through difficult times, and we worked hard to provide a secure and loving home for our daughters, now qualified professionals.

Now, after spending almost my whole life here, I am now in my seventies and living an easier life. My children are all away and settled in their lives. I am enjoying my retirement by learning new things. I am happy and well-settled now and any unjustified negativity directed towards me is much easier to deal with. This is all part of maturing - of recognising who you are and being at ease with yourself. I enjoy my life, am active and healthy, take part in a variety of recreational activities and do voluntary work. I am lucky to be in good health and able to assist friends who may be less fortunate. I have made many good friends and although I might not blend in, this is my country.

What did I find different during my visit to India this year? Although I visited India last year as well, I travelled more this year and got a chance to meet more people on the street, in the trains, and thus got a much better view of today’s India. Everybody had a phone. People carried less cash, digital payments infrastructure has transformed the system, the people on the street transacted on the phone, UPI (Unified Payment Interface) seemed to have revolutionised the Indian system. I used to think that happiness prevails in the villages, but people seemed happier in the cities as well.

Whenever I took a taxi, I conversed with the taxi driver, someone was happy because the Government had given them the facility of having electricity, others because they had their own toilet, others because they have free healthcare up to 500,000.00 Rupees (approx. £5,000). And still others were happy because they can procure a loan from the bank for their small business. All the above are taken for granted in our country here, but those are big privileges for a poor person in India.

What was different in India this time? The common man seemed confident, I found a sense of ease, a sense of comfort, and a sense of pride that was as prevalent in the smaller towns as well as in the bigger towns… even in the villages. I would say, I found a sense of pride on the national level. While travelling in the train, I happened to pose a question to my fellow travellers: ‘I sense a national pride in the country, can you point out the basis of this national pride build up?’ A gentleman very seriously answered, ‘When the invaders came to India, they changed the names of the roads, the cities, the stations etc. which were previously named after Indian heroes and gave them their own names like Babar, Akbar, Aurangzeb, etc. and reading these names was a constant irritant to a commoner. The common man used to pose the question, 'People who invaded our country, why do we still honour them?’ Returning their original names is one of the reasons for our national pride!'

Northern Ireland has changed a lot too and there is peace. There are more people from different cultures living here and it is much easier to obtain authentic Indian food ingredients. Society is moving on in both countries, despite many difficulties.